Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Not a Good Sign


When you start a new job and you see your new boss playing a scratch ticket at lunch that is not a good sign. It's been two months now, and just about every day, she picks up a salad, a bag of pretzels, and two diet cokes from the deli, than dashes into the newstand in the lobby to get her scratch ticket fix. So yesterday, I just had to ask.

Me: So, did you win anything?
Boss Lady: Nothing. I'm going to have to work forever.

Not a good sign.

So today, the boss is out, and I guess I must have been missing the daily adrenaline-rush, ticket scratching at lunch. I bought my own. Not just any ticket, mind you. A $10 ticket. (Yes, I know how much knitpicks yarn I can buy with $10. I can't explain the craziness.) So I scratched. The game is some sort of poker.

First scratch I lose outright. Second scratch, I get two pair. He (The Lottery) has three of a kind. So I win right? Two pair is four cards, which must be better than three cards, right? Wrong. I lose. For a minute it looked like I was $500 richer. Not.

Okay, third scratch. I have a pair. He has nuthin! Let me check again. Yep, nuthin. I win $20 bucks. It's not $500, but I can use my $10 profit to buy more yarn. Very cool. I smile, put my winning ticket in my purse. It's a good thing.

Later, at home...

Me: Look, I won! First I thought I won $500, but I didn't, but then I won $20, so that's good!
Jeff: [looking at the ticket. Squints, holds it closer] You didn't win. He has a straight.
Me: Huh? No, I won.
Jeff: No, see he has 7,8,9,10...you only have a pair.
Me: I hate the lottery. I just wrote this cute story for my blog about how I thought I won, and now I just look stupid. I even took a picture of the ticket.
Jeff: So, just leave the story there. No one has to know you didn't win.

But I cannot tell a lie. So dear readers, in the spirit of truthfulness and full disclosure, I am telling you I didn't win. Next time I will buy yarn.

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